kogepan's Story
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I am Kogepan. I was from a bakery shop in Hokkaido.
My bakery shop is very famous in Japan because the red bead buns that it churns out
are so delicious that only 20 of such type are made each day. I was supposed to be a
delicious red bean bun too, but an
unfortunate accident had happened... |
On the day I was supposed to be brought into
the oven, I was thrilled because the moment has finally arrived for me
to become what most breads have always wanted to be - a high quality red
bean bread.
As I continue to ponder on that, I began to giggle in excitement. |
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When the baker began to take
me and my friends out from the oven, I was ecstatic because everything
had went smoothly. However, my happiness is somehow short-lived when the baker accidentally
tilted the pan and... |
And I fell back into the oven and
disappeared into a cloud of smoke. I looked around for my friends but
they were not there. I was very afraid.
I was getting cooked again and there was a burnt smell seeping out
from me. I thought to myself "Somebody please come and save
me!" |
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Nobody noticed that I was missing and I
waited in the oven for another 30 minutes. My skin was no longer a golden
color and had turned dark brown. I smelt awful.
Finally, the baker saw me and took me out from the oven, but he did
not place me back on the shelves where the other red bean buns were. |
I am a burnt bread and certainly, nobody
wants to buy me. I felt lonely and upset. I thought to myself that my
life as a bread was very meaningless. I was so disillusion that my eyes
turned white. |
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The other red bean buns always mock at me,
calling me awful names. The baker did not even pay attention to me at
all. I think the whole world hates me. |
I decided to run away from home. Nobody will
care anyway. I shall run to a place where nobody exists and nobody will
make fun of me. |
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I spent most of my time smoking and drinking
milk as beer. I became very depressed and pessimistic. |
After a few days, I finally came to my
senses, and decided not to live my life like this anymore. The bakery is
still my home after all. |
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Back at the bakery I decided to read a book
titled "How to become a delicious bread" to improve myself. I
believed that if I continue to work hard, I will eventually attain my
dream of becoming a delicious red bean bun. |
But every time I see the other red bean buns
I lose hope and become jealous again. I always lecture them about
the life of being a bread and because of that, all of them were afraid
of me. |
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
New year is coming and as the saying goes, when the old don't go, the new will not come.I got a new boyfriend!!He is not good looking or rich but he dote me a lot a lot a lot.But to be honest, i can't say i love him.To be fair, i do not forget people i once love a lot in 20 days.But I hope if he is reading this, he will understand, i am forgetting my ex.REASON FOR MAKING AN EFFORT TO FORGET BB.BB never really love me a lot, I find that he was just trying to make an effort to maintain a responsibility of making us a couple.Every time i ask him how much he LIKE me, has it increase?I will be always disappointed.ON THE OTHER HAND.Dear is really sweet.He is truly attentive.Maybe it might be normal for guys to carry bags for girls or to send her msges all the time.But with dear, i feel like i am being loved.It's not me alone trying to win someone, is someone pampering me like a princess. Someone who belongs to me and who really listen to what i want to say.BB should have been a friend and stay that way.I loved bb but sometimes i feel really alone, because i was a bad guy and nobody would ever side me, If bb left me i was nothing. To me now, bb is only a best friend.I believe i am mature enough to handle a break up and make the best out of it.WHY I LIKE DEAR SO MUCH.He is really SWEET!Like the other day when i had a little bad throat.He pop out a Honey lemon Strepsils bought just for me.I myself don't even know my voice was a little different. When i lost my red ribbon, he actually notice that it was gone and made an effort to get one for me. Everytime i forget to bring a bottle of water to work, he will appear with one magically.When i am hungry, he will buy me breakfast without me asking and even telling him i am hungry.Among all my ex boyfriends, he was actually one of the best.He don't flirt, he don't bully me.He cares so much about me that i for once feel like i am actually a lousy girlfriend.I am so afraid of him finding out the truth that i am still trying to make my like become love because i am afraid that his attitude will change or he will be mistaken that i dun like him at all and i am playing with his feelings.The fact is that, I am afraid of hurting him and MOST AFRAID OF LOSING HIM.If he actually see this blog, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW, I WILL LOVE YOU!I just need time to forget him.He bought me mango pudding today. DAMN EX! but i got to eat the pretty pudding.Bought couple clothes today. Upload the photo next time.Something is wrong with the picture uploading thing.OFFF I GOOOO...
11:29 PM * Janice
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Thursday, January 17, 2008
I forget to blog about yesterday!
I mean yesterday yesterday cause it's 12.45 pm now. haha.
I starting work today at 9 am. kinda nervous. Yesterday Baba say i am pretty. Kind of happy. haha. POST SOME PICTURES!! Next time it will be videos! The pictures are coming up super slow.
TADAHHHH!!!
As you can guess. WE WENT TO KBOX!
I kind of cheer up after singing.
haha.
I am in my newest favourite top. It's strip and has a hood and i love it. cause it's comfy.
I am now 55 kg.
I reach my old target.
NOW I WANT TO BE 50kg!
I shld sleep. dowan to be late on the first day of work. I will come back and bitch about the work if it's bitchy.
AND MOST SHITTY THING THIS YEAR IS>>>>>>>> adult fare.
NITE!
12:44 AM * Janice
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Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I have finally finish packing my room. Almost actually, cause there is still stuff that i cant bear to throw. I also pack my hello kitty wallet. WHICH HAS TONS OF RECEIPTS, and the 5 movies ticket stubs we watch together. I still can't bear to throw it away. I miss him really much. I must be the world goonduwest goondu to love him that much. I really hope he will remember me for as long as he live. I am kind of lost today. Did some silly stuff.. Which only wei li knows. haha. I am tired but not sleepy. I think i will go and sweep my floor. I am losing my motivation to lose weight. Haven been exercising lately. Just had this terrible tummy cramps. Tried calling him, he never answer. I just suddenly feel very lonely. I try to sleep today.
2:38 AM * Janice
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Monday, January 14, 2008
I decided to pack my room today, TMR I AM GOING TO SING KTV!!!!! yay. I needed this kind of boost of happiness. Sad these days. haha.. I packing my room now, decided to take a break a nd pack my super messy room. I am going crazy. another sleepless night i guess. I want 10 more hands for the moment please. haha.
11:44 PM * Janice
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Friday, January 11, 2008
Today cried 3 times since daylight. morning, cried when looking through pictures. afternoon cried when call finish. Night time cried again. Hope i can sleep tonight. He haven replied de msg i sent. Shld be busy with her. feeling stabs in my heart. I want to be hiro nakamura. Teleport back in time. kiss him one last time.
11:24 PM * Janice
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Yesterday, i lived through the day that i have been dreading.I knew one day he will decided to return to her, i just never knew it was that fast.Cried whole night cause i just can't sleep.Every single thought was about him.The airport bus stop, the movies, his hands, his shoulders.His kiss.Now i am feeling the pain of losing someone you love.It's like i can hardly find the strength to move, I wish i can exchange such a pain with something else.I now still in bed, my tummy hurts like hell.I just wish so much that he can tell me he was joking and he love me.If god would let me exchange a million tears just to have another day with him.I can already say i want to claim a day.My friend asked my yesterday, what if your dream guy comes a long now.I was thinking, what kind of dream guy is my dream guy, Tall and handsome with cars and cash.Then i realise, want bb.I want a normal guy who would love me whole-heartedly, who will let me hug when i feel like, who puts on a nice smelling scent, who is really cute and motivating.For what has happen, i can only blame myself.I am sorry for sharing her boyfren.He is right. I will not want to share my boyfriend with anyone.Will anyone please date me out and lend me a shoulder?I need one to cry on now.Like what WB said, i am hopeless. I shld have seen it coming.He is right, i guess i just placed my hopes too high. Will someone please help me wake up from my nightmare?
11:29 AM * Janice
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Sunday, January 06, 2008
Today is really SWEET! He's finally back and we spent the whole day outside. Watch Body 19 together. MAIN POINT IS - I GOT LIE ON MY BB DURING THE WHOLE ENTIRE SHOW. I nearly suffocate him though, cause everytime the stupid ghost which looks like power rangers' enemies comes out, i will freak out and press myself against his MANLY A CUP chest. But i didn't realise la. He bought his new phone liao. Now we got qin liu tian hua ( COUPLES PHONE ), sweet or not? The only sad thing is that we are not that much of a qin liu. Now the main point is to put my head back into the " I must lose weight attitude! " If not i may lose him. I ate 1 chawamushi and soba noodles and milk today, guess thats all. Take care.
10:45 PM * Janice
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Saturday, January 05, 2008
I am back, after being missing for so long.I have a good news to share!!!!When i started this blog, i was 62 kg.NOWI am 57.5 kg!Even though it is just a small little little change, i am proud of it.I can only thank the guy i like.He was my motivation in many many ways. Helping me to look for exercises to lose weight. Being on the phone to stop me from buying snacks.His smile is the cutest thing in the world, so how can i not listen to him.It's 5/1/2008 today. I am kind of emotional now.Cause i just want those bad EXes who thought i was hopeless to look at me now.I am changing so much.One day they will regret ditching me and realise how much they have missed.If i could only stroll pass them in my best form and leave them banging their head against the wall.Okay fine, it wun happen, cause they will have other better and slimmer girlfriends, but i am fine with that. I just hope that they live happily ever after. Enjoy a damn sweet life den go to hell for ditching me. hahaa. Okay okay, i can't change the fact that i am pissed off with them.Let me update you with my pass few months, (as if anyone is even reading this) haha. I got myself a new phone the KU990 and i have change my number. So ppl without my number, email it to me. I changed my hairstyle to a gong kia look. Found someone that i would love to cherish, but honestly, i noe i only fill up 15% of his heart, but it's ok cause i am strong and i believe he will be mine one day. My bank account no longer has 4 digits and i eat chawamushi everyday. Let's give the guy i like a nickname, I call him BB all the time so we will go with bb.I know this blog is suppose to be about how i am going to slim down, but he plays such an important part that i can't imagine not thinking of him. Girls out there, find a motivation, it hurts alot emotionally because i am in a situation where i can't be his girlfriend, but no matter wad, i will be there for him because he is the sweetest guy ever. He gave me a dress for christmas, so now i am going to work hard to slim down and look great in that dress and make him proud. I bought him 2 topshop undies which look freaking cute.. har har. I noe it's a dumb present but i believe he will look damn cute in it. Not that i can see la, but thinking of it makes me smile. We are going for movies tomorrow. Need to wake up early to dress up.Nite ppl.Enjoy Life Please.
11:38 PM * Janice
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Profile
Janice!
`is not very smart
`is FAT
`is ATTACHED
`and she's a mummy's girl!! =)
`myPHONE
`food
`bleach and naruto
`Hair
`Japanese magazines
`elephant softtoys
`bear soft toys
`dogs
`shopping
`holidays
`swimming
`MY BEST FRIENDS
and LIM AN RU ANDREW!!
`heat
`scoldings
`messy hair
`thin people who says they are fat
`being poor
`poorly cooked rice
`price hikes
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